in the car. his mind flying out of nowhere. the glimpse of the lights come and gone and people chatting inside the car. there were not many people here by this hour. just the patients and their family accompany them. as soon as that, my head suddenly thought of my aunt, we called her Udo. i still remember that i am the one who made up that word when i was kid. its suppose to be Uda or something but somehow i cannot speak clearly and still this "baby accent" and uda was turned into Udo. haha. and since then, Udo was the word that we used to call everytime we talked to her.haha

One day, when i was at the hostel, surfing the internet, Acik sent me a message which was regarding Udo that partially passed out when she was at her office. i am turned to the panic state and i dont want anything to happen on her. She was just like my own mother after my mother died because of cancer. She is the one who really take a good care of me, never mind served everything that i need, instead of Acik. they are so good to me eventhough i am not coming from their blood heritage. i felt my eyes were warm.just waiting for seconds to rolling down. but i dont.there are my friends here.so i shouldn't crying by now. i had to visit her at the hospital. but as soon as my exams are finished on that week. one day, acik called me and telling how bad her health level is. she is diagnosed of having a high level of sugar in her blood (diabetes). and also have this blood clumping right at her paru-paru and her leg. and Acik passed the phone to Udo to let her to talk to me. i picked up the phone and we have this conversations. all i heard was the cheer voice of her but i know that pretending to be good. i knew that!. and my heart cant help but to melt and crying on that moment. really i was soo in the crying moment. but i have to endured this thing with braveness. but i really cant, hearing her voice made me felt gloom and sad. and that tears finally falling down slowly. in the bus. who cares if people will look at me? 

its finally the day i am heading my steps to the hospital. in the cab to visit Udo. cant wait to see her. how she is doing and many more playing in my mind. and at the same time i was afraid to see her because i afraid to cry. really.